Teenagers who are self aware value themselves more and will consequently want the best for themselves and those around them.  This will result in being more able to identify and take advantage of opportunities that would otherwise go unnoticed when bogged down with limiting self beliefs, other people’s opinions and the anxiety that usually accompanies lack of self esteem. Self esteem begets clarity, options and better decision making.

• Your teen will develop increased conflict resolution capabilities through being able to respond logically instead of reacting subjectively to differences of agreements.

  When someone with low self esteem feels as though they are being challenged they are more likely to react subjectively/emotionally which results in loss of self control.

  What is happening here is that on a subconscious level, their priority is to defend the wounded ego. This uses an enormous amount of energy and working memory (liken to Random Access Memory, RAM, in a computer). As a result, less energy and RAM is available to look at the situation clearly and logically enough to see available options and choose the best response needed to manage conflicts healthily and even achieve conflict avoidance.

• Making mistakes is a life long natural human phenomena, it’s how we learn, if we are wise.  If you are not making mistakes, you are not living. I mention ‘wise’ here because most people will make a mistake and perceive it as ‘the end of the world’, a bit of an exaggeration there but you know what I mean, we’ve all been there (man I have been there nuff times in my past). People with self belief possess the ability to take advantage of ‘objectivity’.

  Objectivity affords a more realistic reflection of experiences, in addition it creates the space required to purposefully look for the lesson in the mistake – ‘What is the lesson here?’ ‘What is the message?’ Dealing with mistakes in this manner will not only enrich your child’s life it will save them from being mentally and emotionally hurt (feeling like a failure or a substandard) in the aftermath of any future errors.

• In 2021 BBC’s Newsround reported a steady decline in the mental wellbeing and self esteem of teenagers as they move into secondary school, reaching it’s peak between the ages of 14 and 17. The decline is greater amongst girls than boys. Research shows that this decline is largely due to not being happy with their appearance.

Many teens fall into the trap of comparing themselves to other people, either on social media or within their own social circles and are also more likely to rely on others to validate their self worth. Self esteem and mental wellness are negatively impacted when the desired validation is not received or when there is a perceived gap between themselves and those they compare themselves to; the larger the perceived the gap the lower the quality of self esteem and mental wellness.

The gift of self awareness and self acceptance will transform your teen into a person who has no need to compare or seek validation, feeling depressed and inadequate because they don’t live up to false standards. They will see themselves as being worthy, as being ‘enough’, valuing their own opinions, their own appearance.

• This is the basis of building a ‘strong foundation’ from which to grow and thrive in their adult years enabling them to make the right life decisions for the right person and not decisions influenced by other people’s ideals.
  
  

• A strong foundation increases resilience in general. Resilient individuals exude confidence and self assuredness making them less likely to be targets for bullying as bullies tend to target people they perceive as being weak.

  Self assured teens (people in general for that matter) are also less vulnerable to attempts of harm such as bully tactics, insults, gaslighting, grooming and negative influencing.

  You may have noticed for yourself that the success of each of these negative practices is reliant on the ‘target’s’ response to these efforts. The abuser’s aim is to negatively effect on the target’s emotions, self image and behaviour. For this to happen the target has to be in a place where they value the abuser’s opinions and needs over their own.

  Strong individuals don’t give their power away to other people, they don’t allow themselves to be ruled by anyone who is not for them.  They cope better in toxic situations and will find it easier to recognise and deal with attempts of manipulation and influences not aligned to their self image and inner strength.